Skeptic, analyst, perfectionist, believer. These are some of the terms that consistently recur when I explore the many different personality assessments that are popular online. Although these tests are carefully framed to focus on the positive aspects of personality and to avoid negative language, I think that they speak to both the strengths and weakness inherent in one’s mental and social configuration. If we want to be more positive, we could refer to those weaknesses as ‘opportunities for growth and improvement,’ but I do prefer what I call a ‘direct communication style.’ This is a good example of a ambivalent character trait that can be beneficial or detrimental depending on the context. Over time, I’ve realized that most people, especially in the the work environments I’ve experienced, seek to avoid conflict and discomfort. Therefore what I might consider an honest and direct statement may be perceived as critical, negative, or judgmental. Many people are sensitive to their perception of blame or ‘fault.’ In order to give myself the space to empathize with others and tailor my communication to the situation, when I am providing corrections or analysis of a problem, most of the time I save my email as a draft, or even an offline document, and come back to it to evaluate it before sending. I believe this practice has helped with work relationships and productivity.

Going one step further, the characteristics above seen as strengths, refer to my love of learning and rigorous analysis. Left to my own devices, I follow a line of inquiry to its end, investigate side trails, and try to fill all the missing pieces in defining a problem. In solving I prefer to investigate multiple solutions, optimize as I go, and return with a comprehensive answer. In the right circumstances this can lead me to provide outstanding work and great value to stakeholders. However, I am well aware that this predisposition has its pitfalls. Doing all that work takes time. If the situation is time-constrained, or the problem is asking for a guess, and estimate, or superficial pass, my natural approach is not the best fit, and I need to be manage my resources. When dealing with a complex project, sometimes its best to separate different subdomains and take a more iterative approach to reaching an acceptable solution. Especially when building software and technological solutions, getting started is the biggest issue. Doing too much work up front can be a poor investment given the likelihood of unforeseen changes to the project parameters. Also, in a team project, the work of others often depends on your progress so its never good to be the one everyone is waiting to merge in a late commit. Being more self-aware has helped me to grow in this area– by recognizing when it’s time to adopt a different strategy or implement various productivity techniques. These personality attributes are very directly related to impostor syndrome. Since I personally thrive on having a mountain of knowledge, irrefutable proof, and unassailable credentials, its easy why I have always dealt with impostor syndrome in my own professional life. Despite wide and deep experience in some areas, having no degree or certifications has always felt like my Achilles heel; while it may have lead me to interesting and unusual opportunities, I have always avoided situations where I felt I might not measure up ‘on paper.’ Enrolling in Lambda School is one way that I have tried to address this issue. I realize that even though there will always be someone with a better CV, the school has the right blend of rigor and praxis that should I complete it, I will be proud to put that on my resume, and will feel equal to the title of Data Scientist. All of these words are nice, and writing this has been a helpful exercise to understand how much more room I have to grow in this area, and actions speak louder than a lot of words. Although I will never give up my cherished standards of excellence, nor completely cease my habit of self-inspection and criticism, in the context of work, many of these issues work themselves out in terms of time and productivity management. In order to progress faster I think that I should take it further and experiment with a different productivity tool each week. I have been using a pomodoro timer with some small benefit. However, I think that a few googles should be able to produce a list of at least half a dozen tools, and or techniques to try out. I will generate the list, use each for a week, and write some notes on Friday about how it went. Stay tuned..